The Spoons in the Road

 

Sometimes the best thing is to stop talking and step back from the situation. That is why, even though I had this thought in my head for awhile, I needed to step outside of the situation and give myself enough emotional space before I wrote about this.

During the months of March and mid April, I felt pressure from my university and from society. The pressure was to either go to grad school after I graduate or to get a full time job. It felt like society was pointing at the fork in the road and telling me, “Ok Julia, here’s the fork in the road. Which of these two paths will you choose?” Well I’m not going to grad school or getting a job after I graduate, I’m going to be doing a year of service. Unfortunately, a year of service was not a path the fork in the road pointed towards. I did not choose the fork in the road; I chose the spoon in the road. The spoon that points to a third option that nobody can see.

To be totally honest, I felt like I was doing something wrong because I chose the spoon in the road instead of the fork. Recently, I realized that I’m not the only one choosing the spoon in the road. Several people (in my case college grads) might choose their own spoon in the road for several reasons. They might decide to travel before getting a job (jealous!); they might have a family member who is sick and requires them to stay home (I sure hope not) or some other third thing that I cannot see at the time. But the reason why I cannot see the “some other third thing” is because the spoon in the road is their spoon in the road, not my spoon in the road. The fork in the road is visible to everyone, so it becomes the norm. But for the spoon in the road, since it is invisible, the path is only visible to the people who need to walk down their own path. I am the only person that can see and walk down my spoon in the road. The fork and the spoon are not unequal to one another, but simply different paths (this took me forever to realize.)  

I was reminded of this when I saw this quote pop up on my phone the other day. I have a quote app that pops up a happy little quote of the day (and I seriously recommend it for anybody seeking some more positivity in their life) So I have no idea who Mary Dunbar (Google was inconsistent in their answers, so if you know comment below), but I believe there is much wisdom in this quote relating to why I choose to serve as a YAV starting in August. We all have to discover our inner light, our own path, and for me part of discovering (or polishing) my inner self is to serve as a YAV. Part of discovering our inner light is to be able to walk down the spoons in the road. The spoons in the road are invisible for a reason. They only appear visible to the people who need to walk down that certain path. They are only visible when our hearts and spirits have something to learn and we cannot learn that something by walking down everybody else’s fork in the road, but only by walking down our own spoon in the road.

And I believe those spoons go by many names depending on different cultures. My spoon can be called my spiritual journey. 

What I've Learned From College

I feel like I should write a blog post about graduation since I will be graduating from college in less then a week (SAY WHAT?). But what can I write about graduation? There are so many thoughts I have. And a better question is; what can I write about graduation when I’m too tired to write because of finals? Well I thought the answer to that question would be to create a list. (Yes, I’m weird and like creating lists. There’s an element of introspection that I like about it.) This list not only applies to college, but will also apply to me next year in Montana as well as many other years to come.

So without further ado, here is the list of the top 10 things I’ve learned from the past 4 years of college.

10) Coffee is the drink of the gods- And I’m not talking about the Lady Antebellum song “Heart of the World” (but go ahead and give that song a listen to) Coffee has gotten me through so many assignments in college. Just remember to add cream or sugar to it, otherwise coffee is the drink of road kill.

9) Nobody is an adult, so don’t worry!– I used to think that I wasn't ready to be an adult. After seeing all my Facebook friends post memes about not being ready to be an adult, I discovered that nobody is an adult. In fact, I think half of what being an adult is learning how to fake being an adult. Except taxes, that's the one adult thing you can’t fake. I’m pretty sure the IRS wouldn't be happy if you did.

8) Bertolli Pasta is the best- What can be better then frozen food that you heat up on the stove top? Seriously, this pasta is my best friend! How can you not love it? Unless you’re gluten free…then I’ll pray for you.

7) Those who judge you aren’t really judging you- Trust me on this, I used to judge people a lot. But I soon realized that I wasn't judging them, I was judging myself. People who have felt judged in the past will judge people in the future because it is a way for them to be safe. It’s a vicious cycle that can only be stopped with love and acceptance.

6) Agree it disagree- Nobody is going to agree with you on everything. I’m pretty sure this world is not made up of 7.6 billion Julia clones. So agree to disagree, and don’t take it personally if they disagree with you. The world isn’t made up of 7.6 people who are afraid to hurt your feelings. So don't worry about what people think, worry about how you are going to react.

5) Changing environments change moods- I’ve always hated white walls, so I learned this in high school everyday when school ended and I was free of those horrible white walls. But when I was feeling depressed sophomore year of college it was suggested that I study in the library. And that actually helped with my depression. Even though I wasn't talking to anybody in the library (most of the time) the fact that I changed environments from my room, a place with no people, to the library, a place with tons of people, helped a lot because of the energy I picked up on.

4) Being afraid of rejection means you’re afraid of life- Don’t argue with me, you know it’s true. Part of living life is facing rejection. If you hide from life because you’re afraid of rejection, then you’re missing out on some amazing experience. After all the greatest regret is not having any regrets (99% that’s a quote from some famous guy)

3) People are not boxes of your past experiences- Just because someone did X, does not mean this person will do X. You can’t categorize people as “good” or “bad” in order to protect yourself. People come from all walks of life and are too complex to be put in a box. (Trust me I studied social work and yet I still don’t understand people.) Don’t try to put someone in a box or change him or her, but enjoy that person for who they are.

2) My greatest strength is also my greatest weakness-Seriously check out Brene Brown; her writing is basically free therapy. Being vulnerable with one another means we are comfortable showing people are true selves, our true strengths and weaknesses. There is nothing more amazing then having the confidence and courage to reveal to people who we are without our masks on. And just maybe by showing people our own weaknesses, we are able to connect to people because they have the same weaknesses.

1) Everybody deserves unconditional love, even the broken-If anything dear reader, remember that you are special and deserving of love. Nobody comes into this world being born evil (being born flawed yes, but not evil.) More often then not the people that we label as evil or mean are just broken. Broken with the need for love to fill that void. That it is why it is our duty as humans of this earth to love people, even the people that we might be hesitant to love. I mean just look at Regina Mills from “Once Upon a Time.” She wasn't evil, just suffering from broken love. She was able to receive love she needed and deserved and look where she is now in the show!